Isn't mommy always right?

My four permatas in 1997...

Love and patience are two most important values a mother should have for her children.

I love my children.As much as possible I do not want to hurt their feelings.But mommy is only human...

I know I am blessed with 4 manageable permatas.I cannot ask for more.Any discrepancies here and there make our life more colourful.That s all..I have understood long time ago that journey of life isn't a smooth sailing ..,not even for this family.

My children,
As far as possible I ll try to fulfill your wishes and even dreams if I could.(though sometimes mommy wonders who is going to full fill mommy's wishes and dreams...ahhh getting sentimental..)

I understand your favorites and your interests. Never in the world would I put a full stop to that.

Along, you re synonym with rugby,angah is always in the softball team ,bigbaby..lately you re more interested in volleyball while Ifah who is more on the lembik side, is inclined towards anything related to dancing.Mommy understands that ..
Yes,besides working hard academically, all of you should pursue your interest in sports and games to become a balanced individual.Mommy has no problem with that..

But last weekend there is so much in my hand.Along brought home 7 friends and of course I had to entertain them just like my own children;giving fresh sheets,ensuring everybody gets a pillow and a blanket,preparing breakfast,lunch and tea.After all they have been together for a year and later they are going to stick together too in a foreign land for another 3 more years if God willing.So for these children they are just like siblings to each other.How can I not entertain them.
While I was busy attending to the needs of Along and his friends,I seemed to hurt my bigbaby's feeling. He had to return to his college earlier than usual.I knew he had a volleyball practice and college players would be selected on that afternoon.He reminded me over and over on that day.

However, I could not leave the house until Along and his friends had left.I think that is expected from a mother..to say goodbye and to sent off her children at the door.

Time was ticking away and by the time I loaded bigbaby's belongings into the car, it was half an hour past the practised time.I looked at his eyes.He was already wiping tears.I tried to talk to him but instead of responding to my questions he cried harder.I told him it was alright to be half an hour late and just tell the volleyball captain his reason.Still there was no response from him .I knew he was frustrated..Ahh....

Finally, I said.."Would you want me to see the captain?"
"No, I would look like a baby..,and no I do not not want to go for that practice.I am already late.Let it be..I wont get selected.."

I couldnt avoid the guilty feeling.But I had no choice.I wished I could be at two places at one time.
I kept on driving until I reached his college.As I was passing the volleyball court ,I saw some boys were still playing.I brought my car to a halt and told big baby to go and change into his sports attire and joined the group. He just kept quiet and as he was about to close the car door, he said,"No, I do not want to practise.Biar tak kena pilih pun tak pe..".Then he left and walked towards his dormitory without a peck on my cheek like he usually did.I knew he was mad at me..

It has been four days today and my bigbaby is still keeping himself very quiet.There was still no call.Probably he is still angry..

Isn't mommy always right?
Could I be wrong this time?
Have I jeopardised bigbaby's chance of getting into his college volleyball team?
Should I just leave Along and his friends the other day without waiting for them to start off their journey back to college?
Am I being fair to all my children?

Mommy is trying very hard to rationalise this....

The High and Mighty Abang Seniors..

I was still drowsy when answering a mid-night phone call last night...

I thought I did not want to share this story with my blogger friends..but after giving much thought and may be some of you have brilliant suggestions on how to solve this problem,so I am giving it a go.It is not my intention to put a shame on any parties...but this is more on putting things on the right track.

Alright.. back to that mid-night call.Well, it was not a crank call or emergency call that involves a matter of life and death.It was just a call from my youngest permata who is now studying at one of MARA Junior Science Colleges in Malacca.

When I discovered the call was from him,several questions popped up on my mind...

First,what is he doing lurking around the school compound at 5 minutes to mid-night?

Second,why isn't he in bed at this hour?

Third, does the hostel have a curfew time?

Fourth, where are the wardens?

Fifth, what time is the "lights-out"?.....and the list goes on...


Normally, he would call in the evening,almost daily, to report to me on his activities.But last night he called me at 5 minutes to midnight.His voice did not get through very clearly and a few times I had to insist him to speak louder.It was as if he was hiding something and didn't want anybody to hear the conversation,as if it was supposed to be a secret call and if somebody found out he would face the music..

After urging him a few times, I finally heard him saying " Ma, Ijat kena ragging dengan abang senior...".Then the line stopped dead...

My response...First ,I am mad.If that abang senior were in front of me I would definitely squeeze him.

Second, of course I could not avoid the guilty feeling..here I was snuggling comfortably on my bed in my air-cond room while my son was still out in the night kena ragging..
Mothers...how would you feel???
I woke up several times last night thinking about my son and even the whole day today I couldnt focus on my work.And this is not his first time kena ragging...

At 2:30 pm just now he called me again to reveal the rest of the story...

After prep at 11:00pm last night ,one high and mighty abang senior stopped him and asked him to go to the cafeteria and buy nasi lemak.Why was the cafeteria still operating at that time of the night in the school compound I would not know..So, my son did as ordered.However ,instead of buying nasi lemak ,he bought nasi goreng for abang senior.Then, instead of sending the nasi goreng to abang senior himself, he asked his friend to do so..

Of course abang senior turned mad because his order was not up to his expectation.So abang senior took hold of my son and asked him to buy nasi lemak and this time using my son's money...My poor son didnt have much choice but to go and buy another one.That was why he was still up and about at almost 12: 00 mid-night...

Before he left,abang senior asked my son to see him again tonight to buy him nasi lemak using my son's money..He warned that if my son does not obey his orders,he is going to "tumbuk" my son...

So my son called me just now to ask my opinion..should he or should he not buy nasi lemak for abang senior tonight.

No...I told my son, do not buy for him and if he "tumbuk"(that was the word he used),make sure there is a witness.I am going to see how far this abang senior the great going to bully my son and the rest of the form ones...If there is a mark on his face,I definitely going to the school tomorrow.

This nonsense, stupid and good- for- nothing thing should be stopped.I thought this bully and ragging culture has stopped long time ago.

My eldest was in MRSM too, but this bully culture is never practised.Infact,he was happy through out his five-year stay in that particular MRSM.

My daughter is now in boarding school too and she never complains of anything.Infact their routine is at 11:00 pm the lights must be switched off and before they go to sleep they have to recite Surah 'Al Mulk'. No stress..and no tension..


Of course no food business operated at night.Dewan makan closed after dinner that is 8 pm...

But what is happening in my son's college is something to be questioned.This is a school,a boarding school infact.The activities of the boarders must be carefully planned,monitored and supervised by the wardens.They should not be let loose..what more to still be out at midnight.Their day-time schedule is very packed and if they are still out at mid-night how they are going to get enough sleep to be able to function the next day???

These abang seniors also shouted bodoh,bangang if what being asked is not perform well.Infact they wrote fucking dirty words too on my son's and his friend's lockers?What ...vandalism at boarding school???It must be stopped!!!

Or maybe because this particular MRSM is in an army camp..and the army culture and practices seem to influence the mood and the environment in that college, which I think is not conducive and healthy at all.

If worse comes to worse ,I might take him out from that particular college.Let's wait and see.

Mummy dearest's head is brewing now..with the car gone..and now constant disturbance from these abang seniors.

If you were my students abang seniors, you would definitely be in hot soup for giving me this headache!

Letting go...

My big baby..the youngest of my four permatas...the clown in the family... is leaving home sweet home.

Although it is very hard for me to let him go from my armpit, I have to provide him with wings to fly...for his future sake.

I hope that he will adapt well at his new college...

I hope he will be more independent and disciplined...

I hope he will try out everything and venture into new possibilities that the college has to offer.

I hope he will discover his potentials and use them to the fullest...

I hope he will turn out to be an all-rounder individual...

I hope he will learn as many things as possible..things which sometimes I as working mother have no time to teach and train...

Son,use all the opportunities given and provided by the college to the fullest...


All packed and ready...

Daddy dearest is tying his tie for the last time...maybe daddy will not be able to do this again in future...



Fastening his watch...

Tying his shoe-lace...


And finally.. my youngest permata is leaving home...
The house now feels so empty and quiet now.We really miss you son...

When the cat was not around....

I seldom write on other things but my family.But a few episodes which happened this afternoon have sparked my interest to write on a different subject matter.

Earlier this afternoon I went to one of the army hospitals for my big baby's medical examination.No..no..he is fine alright.The examination is just a requirement for him to enter into MRSM.

So we stepped into the out-patient building.We were greeted with a smile and a very warm welcome.After giving the form and particulars,we were asked to sit.Fine...It was a very relaxing and pleasant atmosphere, with only less than ten patients waiting in line.

Less than ten minutes,we were called up by the nurse.We were asked to go to radiology department and get the x-ray report.Actually this is the second visit to the hospital.The first one was last week to take the x-ray and the urine.This week is to gather all the reports and to meet the doctor.I didn't complain much although I know that this medical examination can be done in half a day if it is at the General Hospital.But because dear hubby chose to do it at the army hospital,I just follow the tide.Anyway who am I to make such a fuss.Two days they said,so two days I waited...

We had no problem at the radiology.The report and x-ray film were all ready.I took the film and brought it to the receptionist at the out-patient department ...and again we were asked to wait.

With nothing to do,I just glued my eyes on the TV screen.The show was "Kak Odah driver" ,which I have never gotten the chance to watch before this.Five minutes later we were called up again.Now one of the nurses told us that we couldnt see the doctor today.They gave us a very lame excuse...that was the system broke down earlier and it would take sometime to recover the data and hence they couldnt print out the urine report.So they asked us to come back again the next day.To come another day is definitely a waste of time and a waste of petrol.So,I told them I d rather wait even if it was going to be hours rather then coming back the next day. Seeing that I insisted on waiting,the other nurse came out with a solution...telling me that they d trace the urine test manually.Aha...it can be done and solved!
There is always another way or a different solution.What if I were such a weak and meek person..sure kena goreng punya..To these type of civil servants do you know that part of your duties is to overcome whatever problems that might arise in the best possible way instead of coming out with excuses...

The second episode...I was given back the form and asked to go for dental examination. Never mind it is just next door.I entered the room.I bypassed the first room because the person in there was talking on the phone.I went to the second room which appeared to be an examination room.It was empty.I marched on ...the third room.The door was wide open and I saw a man in uniform (whom I discovered later to be the dentist) lying on a sofa with his two legs on the arm rest and at the same time talking to his staff...They did not even bother to close the door.I am sure as civil servants we are not allowed to behave in such a manner while at work even if we are the boss..Or was it my fault because I didnt give any assalamualaikum...No...no..I am sure what was portrayed in front of me was very unethical.
Anyway..the dentist did as what was required by the form but he definitely couldnt hide his red face ...

Third episode...Then we were shoved to another room..where they took the weight,height,blood pressure and did some eye test.The room was filled with 5 other staff.As one of the staff was checking big baby, the others were laughing and talking hilariously without bothering my presence.One was flipping through pages of a shoe catalogue and commenting.One of them was walking around and almost bumped on me.Maybe they thought I was just one mak chik kampung who doesnt know the rules and regulation at the hospital.An examination room which resembled a market place...

Final episode...I can just ignore the above episodes and come out with some excuses for their manners.Maybe they are only the support staff and not professionals.However what I saw in the final episode was even worst!When my number was called I pushed my big baby into the doctor's room.As usual I was expecting a doctor and his nurse on duty.But I was wrong this time.There were three people,the doctor,the nurse who was standing and waiting for orders ...and wait there was another one occupying the seat in front of the doctor,whom I would call "ahli mesyuarat tingkap" (borrowed words from Do Re Mi film).
The doctor asked big baby to occupy the seat next to him.He started to write,check and sometimes stop for 10 seconds or so to talk to that ahli mesyuarat tingkap.As they were talking in English,not mandarin or tamil, I couldnt help myself from eavesdropping.They were talking about their friend who is now a free-lance surgeon and making big bucks.I understood well... but in my faded pink blouse and slipper they possibly thought that I was just a dumb orang kampung.

I was trying to relate this to my kind of situation.What if I were in my mid-teaching and suddenly one of my colleagues appeared at the doorway and asking about this friend and that friend.Would I stop and entertain my colleague?If I did,well I am bound to receive complaints from students and parents.But here these two young doctors simply mixing work and play,entertaining his friend while attending a patient!I wonder what they learned at their induction courses or PTK courses..and ........I wonder where their boss was...when the cat was not around,the rats were all over the ground...

Anyhow,I managed to get everything done before 4 pm.For the next medical examination,I am definitely going to get it done at one of the general hospitals...I know it is crowded but the service is far more efficient...

Congratulations!

It was around 11:00 am this morning.I was still trapped in the meeting room at JPN.My hand phone suddenly rang.A glance at the number, I knew it was from my big baby.I promised him earlier that I would be in his school for the announcement of the UPSR results.The school had invited the parents to give away the results to the children

Mama datang tak?Cikgu nak announce dah result.

Mama tak boleh datang.Kerja mama tak settle lagi.

Emmm.. tak pe lah.He sounded sad.

OK dapat result call mama nanti.

But I didnt wait for his call.Everybody in the family was so eager to know his results.The father called twice,his auntie and uncle smsed me,even his tok wan was interested and excited to know.

So,I gave his teacher a call...

At around 12:00, big baby called again.

Ma, dapat dah result.He sounded excited.

Oh yeah...so how is it?

I pretended not knowing his results yet.Actually I wanted to make him happy by being the first person to deliver the good news.

5 As mama.

Alhamdulillah...

Siapa sampaikan results pada ijat?

Gurubesarlah...dah mama tak datang.Orang lain seronok kena peluk dengan mama dia.

Nevermind...nanti balik rumah mama give you a hug ok.

Ok , bye.

I reached his school at 2:30 pm.He was already waiting for me in the canteen.I looked at him, to see if there was any sign of frustration on his face.

No..no..he looked very happy and contented.

Mommy dearest felt happy and the guilty feeling slowly disappeared...