Friday, January 21, 2011

Isn't mommy always right?

My four permatas in 1997...

Love and patience are two most important values a mother should have for her children.

I love my children.As much as possible I do not want to hurt their feelings.But mommy is only human...

I know I am blessed with 4 manageable permatas.I cannot ask for more.Any discrepancies here and there make our life more colourful.That s all..I have understood long time ago that journey of life isn't a smooth sailing ..,not even for this family.

My children,
As far as possible I ll try to fulfill your wishes and even dreams if I could.(though sometimes mommy wonders who is going to full fill mommy's wishes and dreams...ahhh getting sentimental..)

I understand your favorites and your interests. Never in the world would I put a full stop to that.

Along, you re synonym with rugby,angah is always in the softball team ,bigbaby..lately you re more interested in volleyball while Ifah who is more on the lembik side, is inclined towards anything related to dancing.Mommy understands that ..
Yes,besides working hard academically, all of you should pursue your interest in sports and games to become a balanced individual.Mommy has no problem with that..

But last weekend there is so much in my hand.Along brought home 7 friends and of course I had to entertain them just like my own children;giving fresh sheets,ensuring everybody gets a pillow and a blanket,preparing breakfast,lunch and tea.After all they have been together for a year and later they are going to stick together too in a foreign land for another 3 more years if God willing.So for these children they are just like siblings to each other.How can I not entertain them.
While I was busy attending to the needs of Along and his friends,I seemed to hurt my bigbaby's feeling. He had to return to his college earlier than usual.I knew he had a volleyball practice and college players would be selected on that afternoon.He reminded me over and over on that day.

However, I could not leave the house until Along and his friends had left.I think that is expected from a say goodbye and to sent off her children at the door.

Time was ticking away and by the time I loaded bigbaby's belongings into the car, it was half an hour past the practised time.I looked at his eyes.He was already wiping tears.I tried to talk to him but instead of responding to my questions he cried harder.I told him it was alright to be half an hour late and just tell the volleyball captain his reason.Still there was no response from him .I knew he was frustrated..Ahh....

Finally, I said.."Would you want me to see the captain?"
"No, I would look like a baby..,and no I do not not want to go for that practice.I am already late.Let it be..I wont get selected.."

I couldnt avoid the guilty feeling.But I had no choice.I wished I could be at two places at one time.
I kept on driving until I reached his college.As I was passing the volleyball court ,I saw some boys were still playing.I brought my car to a halt and told big baby to go and change into his sports attire and joined the group. He just kept quiet and as he was about to close the car door, he said,"No, I do not want to practise.Biar tak kena pilih pun tak pe..".Then he left and walked towards his dormitory without a peck on my cheek like he usually did.I knew he was mad at me..

It has been four days today and my bigbaby is still keeping himself very quiet.There was still no call.Probably he is still angry..

Isn't mommy always right?
Could I be wrong this time?
Have I jeopardised bigbaby's chance of getting into his college volleyball team?
Should I just leave Along and his friends the other day without waiting for them to start off their journey back to college?
Am I being fair to all my children?

Mommy is trying very hard to rationalise this....

Saturday, January 8, 2011

This and that..

Of late, I have been very busy juggling between work and family matters.In fact, a few of my trespassers have been asking me to update my blog(It surprises me that there are people who are interested to read my stories).To find solitude and to pen down my thoughts and stories seem very difficult these days since my working hours have been prolonged.Finally I am joining the 8:00-4:00 workforce after more than two decades of enjoying a half-day career.Holidays of course are quite limited and there is absolutely no more end-of-the-year holiday.So my kids did not have any vacation in 2010.They grumbled at first but mommy dearest has subscribed many interesting TV channels to occupy their time and not to mention the unlimited broadband usage.
School term has just begun.Angah and big baby are back at their school ,leaving Along and Ifah.In fact, Along is leaving too this Monday for MICET.So I have only Ifah to be my "tag along".
Finally tonight I get the time to sit down and rant on whatever comes to my mind and whatever pleases me...
2011 will see two of my Permatas sitting for major exams.Mommy has already felt the pressure.Last holiday saw Angah making trips to tuition center Monday to Thursday, from 8:30 to 3:30pm.Luckily Along has just gotten his driving licence and he was responsible for sending and fetching Angah.Thank you Along for dutifully doing your responsibility,thus lifting some of the burden on mommy's not-so-broad shoulder.Thank you Allah for blessing me with a good son.(no,no..dont get me wrong,I am not bragging,I am only saying my gratitude to Allah).Only YOU, the most merciful and the most compassionate, know what is best for your servants...

The last 3 consecutive weekends saw me making trips to JJ to buy the school necessities.This week is Along's turn to buy whatever items needed at MICET.Mommy wont get any turn because all these preparations have left her purse lighter than usual.Never mind,she can practise "reuse and recycle".What matters most is for her children to be fully equipped to start the school term.
2010 also saw me being tested with lots of things:lost,separation and sickness.December was almost drawing its curtain when I had no choice but to spend 3D/N at HUKM.The minor operation on my daughter was successfully carried out as planned.My sincere thanks to Prof. Dr. Norazura and Prof Dr Ani Amelia for their intelligent diagnosis and successful operation.Malaysia needs more dedicated and committed doctors like both of you.You personally made calls to your patient to check on her status and you counsel the mother because you know that she cant avoid the fear.Both of you are very profesional yet warm,friendly and caring. My thanks also goes to all the nurses at Berlian Ward O&G.I ve never come across a hospital which provides not only a pillow but a blanket to the accompanied person.But I was given those every night I was there accompanying my daughter and this made my night comfortable even though I was sleeping in a prayer room.
I am glad that my daughter is recuperating well and she is ready to face the new school term.

For the coming 2011,I have not thought about any resolution.I don't think I need one.I guess I just take one day at a time.There s nothing to plan, nothing to achieve.I ll try to weather out whatever problems and predicaments that cross my path and pray to Allah to deal with them in the best way I can.
Time flies....
Life goes on for me and my beloved Permatas....